Proverbial Road Trip

Do you remember back before the proliferation of cell phones and GPS navigation? When I started driving, my car’s best feature was it’s intermittent ability to turn on. My mother’s old station wagon had been sitting in the driveway for two years prior to me fixing it - and it then became mine. I knew how to drive that thing, but my mechanic could make it do what he wanted it to - a distinction I was unable to make at the time.

That car died years ago. This weekend, however, I realized that over the last year and a half, God and I have been on a road trip in a car just like it. See, I got to the point where spiritually God wanted me to be in another place. Naturally I insisted on driving. Being the man I am, I wanted to drive as long as I could before relinquishing the wheel. Months, pavement, and landscape flew by as we meandered along the road. But there were a few problems. I didn’t know where we were going. I didn’t know where we were. I didn’t know how to find out. I didn’t ask, I figured he’d tell me.

Onward we went, I growing as silent as my passenger whom I now resented. As on any trip, disaster happens. Pot-holes. Flat tires. Snapped belts. Blown hoses. Yet still I limped this dilapidated wagon down the highway, hoping that He would tell me when we got there. Exhaustion eventually set in. I had no clue where we were going and was convinced I’d taken at least one wrong turn. No choice remained: I reluctantly surrendered the wheel and became the passenger. Night fell and I slept.

I awoke disoriented. It was still dark, but not as dark as when I fell asleep. I had no idea how long I’d been unconscious or how far we had traveled. I hadn’t bothered to ask before slipping into the abandon of mere passenger. Though my driver knew I’d arisen he gave no indication of it; said no word. I was tempted to return the favor. I couldn’t quite make out the road signs. They were neither familiar nor foreign. But I knew they were right. Ashamed, I turned and told him I didn’t hold Him responsible anymore; it was not his fault I didn’t know the end destination. He simply responded: we are right where we need to be - always were. The indigo sky quickly brightened. It was then that I realized how much time had passed. I’d slept so long, thinking I was still so far from where I was intended to be. Meanwhile my driver had been faithful and brought me so much further down the road.

Turns out we were never lost. The trip just took longer than I’d anticipated. With no map, no time frame, and only a direction to go, I’d been frustrated. I felt lost. In my mind I was. Once I let God take over, I rested, and he delivered; the whole time. So often we let ourselves think our situation is much worse than it is. I’m done with that. I thought I went over a year without ‘hearing’ from God. In reality, I spent over a year learning that listening entails more than I thought.

This weekend I awoke. The night finally passed.